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Crime Prevention Tip
The victim \ The bully \ Stop the Bullying \ Take Action \ Useful Links
ullies don't go away when elementary school ends; bullying actually peaks in junior high.
It continues through high school and even into the workplace. It can lead to serious problems
and dangerous situations for both the victim and the bully.
Bullying is repeated and uncalled-for aggressive behavior, or quite simply, unprovoked meanness.
It's a form of intimidation, which meansbehavior designed to threaten, frighten, or get someone
to do something they wouldn't necessarily do. Bullies have learned that bullying works. They do
it to feel powerful and in control. There are things you can do to deal with the situation without
making things worse.
The Facts
- Bullies keep bullying as long as it works -- as long as it makes them feel more powerful.
- Many children and teens are bullies or victims of bullies, but the largest number of children and teens are bystanders -- witnesses to bullying.
- Eight percent of urban junior and senior high students miss one day of school each month because of fear.
- Bullying takes lots of forms: it can be physical or verbal, mild to severe.
- One in four children who bullies will have a criminal record before the age of 30.
- Girls can be bullies too, although bullying by girls is more likely to show up as spreading rumors, leaving people out of social
events, teasing about clothes or boyfriends, or threatening to withdraw friendship. However, this doesn't mean that girls don't
use physical intimidation to bully.
- Although much bulling happens where adults can't see or hear it, it also happens when adults are present. Often adults don't do
anything to stop the bullying.
- Peer Mediation/Conflict Resolution will not work with bullying because true conflicts involve two or more students who intentionally
played a role in the inappropriate behavior. With bullying, the victims typically did nothing to bring about the abuse. Bullying is a form
of victimization, not conflict. It
is no more a “conflict” than are child abuse or
domestic violence.
Anyone can be the target of bullying. However, most victims are often less -- or feel less powerful -- than the bullies. A typical victim
is likely to be shy, sensitive, and perhaps anxious or insecure. Some teens are picked on for physical reasons, such as being
overweight or small, wearing different or "weird" clothing, having a physical disability, or belonging to a different race or religious faith.
Some bullies are outgoing, aggressive, active, and expressive. They get their way by brute force or openly harassing someone.
They may carry a weapon. This type of bully rejects rules and regulations and needs to rebel to achieve a feeling of being better
than everyone else.
Other bullies are more reserved and tricky and may not want to be recognized as harassers or tormentors. They try to control
by talking, saying the right thing at the right time, and lying. This type of bully gets his or her power secretively through
manipulation and deception.
As different as these two types may seem, all bullies have these characteristics in common:
- concern with their own pleasure
- want power over others
- willingness to use and abuse other people to get what they want
- feel pain inside, perhaps because of their own shortcomings
- find it difficult to see things from someone else's perspective
If You Are the Victim
- No one solution works well in every situation, but there are a variety of strategies you can try.
- Avoid or ignore the bully.
- Hang out with friends. There is safety in numbers.
- Say no to a bully's demands from the start. If the bully threatens you with a weapon, give in to the demands and immediately tell an adult.
- Tell the bully assertively to stop threatening you (for example, "I don't like what you're doing -- please stop it!"
- Do not physically fight back: experience shows that this actually increases the likelihood of continued victimization.
- Seek immediate help from an adult.
- Report bullying to school personnel.
- If your safety is at stake, walk away or run if you need to.
It's everyone's responsibility to stop bullying. And don't be afraid to get help when necessary. It takes courage, but you will be preventing
the intimidation from continuing and possibly escalating. You can report the problem to authorities anonymously.
- Refuse to participate in taunting and teasing.
- Treat others the way you would like to be treated.
- Tell adults it you witness cruelty or hear about violence that might occur.
- Walk away from fights.
- Speak out against the bully.
- Stand tall and walk with confidence and in a way that commands respect.
- Hang out with friends who don't get involved in bullying.
- Stand up for others who are being intimidated.
- Include the person who is being bullied in your activities.
- Show compassion for the victim.
- Work with the school administration and get students together to develop or revise your school's code of conduct.
- Start a bully education program for the local elementary school -- consider a puppet show or skit that teaches kids about bullying.
- Organize a teen panel or discussion group to talk about the issues of bullying and intimidation at your school.
- Know what is occurring in your child's school in the way of discipline issues. Remember... Awareness + Action = Prevention.
Bullying.org
BullyBeware.com
Bullying - A Guide for Educators
CircleofRespect.org (anti-bullying site)
Cyberbullying.org
Stop Bullying Now (Parent/teachers)
Kids Against Bullying (kids)
Missouri School Violence Hotline (to report anonymously)
"Stop the Bully" video (kids)
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